Selected posts from "Learn from my fail"

These were posts I could relate to. Enough said. Here's the link, for those of you who need to learn more things from the failures of others: http://learnfrommyfail.com/

If you own pets and there is an unidentifiable object on your floor, don’t poke it to try to figure out what it is. Just don’t.
If you have an article of clothing that becomes covered in fiberglass insulation, do not wash said article of clothing with your underwear.
While in a public bathroom, do not giggle at the lady in the stall next to you because she is having an explosive movement, you might find that you are out of toilet paper and now need to ask her for some.
When you’re helping your neighbor in the garden and he says "Get me the hoe," you shouldn’t call his wife over.
If your doctor surgically removes something from you and asks if you want to see it, unless it’s a tooth or a baby, the answer is always NO.
When on a slip-and-slide, never take a drink of water from said slip-and–slide, especially if your neighbor's five year old daughter is upstream and giggling.
NEVER, under ANY circumstance, accept a "How many Taco Bell tacos can you eat in 5 minutes" challenge from your ‘friends’ especially the night before your XX hour flight to ANYWHERE. They know what they’re doing.
A gulp is not a sufficient unit of measurement when it comes to cough syrup. In fact, one large gulp can lead to being awake at 4 am making new friends with shadow puppets. Always measure.
When your young neighbor asks, "what’s a f–k?" don’t hurriedly reply that it’s a female duck. They will use the term to refer to the ducks they see on the pond during a school trip.